The Journey - The First Blog

Someone once told me that women have two lives; one before they are married and one after. I however would like to change that to one before they have children and one after. A couple of years ago I had my life to live as I choose. Happily married, soaring career, great social life, money that stagnated in my bank account and then we decided to have a baby. I never imagined making the decision so easily but when life gets too happy and predictable most human beings find a way to stir things up on their own. So not to elaborate too much but we started giving it a go if you know what I mean. And I came to realise that the pregnancy test companies must make a fortune on women trying to have babies for the first time..I easily took one (or two) everyday. And then quite easily I struck gold. Ah....those two magic lines. I clutched the test and danced around thinking of ways to break the news to my husband, but of course I just blurted it out when I saw him. We were over the moon and spilling the beans to anyone who would listen.

Unfortunately my pregnancy was diagnosed as anembryonic ( I had never heard of this before) into my third month. I changed doctors, researched and tried desperately to hold on to any glimmer of hope that my first doctor was wrong. But she wasn't and I miscarried and had to have a DNC. I mourned that loss as if I had actually held that baby and knew it. My heart went out to every mother that had ever lost a child by miscarriage, a grown up child or any other circumstance. If you can love one that never was how much can you love one that you have seen? My husband insisted that the only way to get over the loss quickly would be to try again. Much to my resistance he convinced me and I conceived the next month. This time I made sure I didn't say a word to anyone too soon. I still had people who didn't know about what had happened asking me how the pregnancy (previous one) was going.

My pregnancy was uneventful except for a mysterious rash that crept up on me one night and had me itching like a flea bitten mongrel. I didn't even have much morning sickness. My mother came to be with me as I was nearing term. Nature took it's course and I delivered a baby girl on the 29th of April 2006 who we named Kiara (it means African princess). And now 9 days before her first birthday I am writing this blog. A blog that I have been planning to write for a long time but just never got down to writing. A story of this first time Mom who is still finding her way. It is by no means an exceptional story. But it is meant to connect with all those exceptional Moms around the world who find themselves in similar circumstances. Just so that you know that we may be ordinary but the work we do to shape our children the generation of the future is extraordinary and crucial so don't let anyone take that for granted. The hand that rocks the cradle definitely rules the world. My daily rollercoaster is one that keeps moving up and down but once you are on there are no dull moments!

P.S. - This is my first attempt at blogging and I'm already loving being a blogger!

Love and Peace,